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http://graphics7.nytimes.com/images/dropcap/t.gifhere are probably very few social experiences in life more daunting than being the subject of a Friars Club roast, a slash-and-burn salute that involves sitting still while a bunch of foul-mouthed comedians lob off-color remarks about your career, your looks, your spouse (or spouses), your lack of sexual prowess and even - God forbid - your hair. So some credit should be paid to Donald J. Trump, who smiled and laughed along yesterday afternoon as he sat for two and a half hours in a ballroom of the New York Hilton, while a series of comics, celebrities and so-called friends absolutely savaged everything from his brushes with bankruptcy (his casinos have seen better days) to his fiancée (Melania Knauss, who is young, pretty and accented) to, yes, his infamous comb-over (just plain bizarre). But not too much credit. Mr. Trump, after all, is widely known for what might politely be called a healthy sense of self-worth, a character trait that seems to have been only amplified by his recent turn as the star of "The Apprentice" on NBC. So it didn't take long for the speakers at yesterday's roast to put him in his place. Stewie Stone, a long-time Friar and an Atlantic City regular, told Mr. Trump that he'd read his book about how to be a billionaire. "But if your father wasn't one first, you'd be a waiter in this hotel," he added. Mr. Stone was one of the lesser-known guests on an epic 75-person dais, a lineup that ranged from a "Who's Who" to a "Who's That?" It included oddities like Richard Hatch (of fast-fading "Survivor" fame), the boxer Michael Spinks and the crusty actor - and perpetual joke target - Abe Vigoda, whose introduction began, "If Abe Vigoda were alive today. ..." (The crowd howled.) It was a guest list that resulted in a bevy of once-in-a-lifetime seating juxtapositions, including the Rev. Al Sharpton chatting amiably with Stone Phillips, the "Dateline NBC" anchor, while two seats down, Victoria Gotti, the Mafia mom, tried to smile while she and her children's own reality show, "Growing Up Gotti," was trashed. "Jewish parents put money away for college," Mr. Stone riffed. "You put money away for bail." On the other side of the lectern, Mike Wallace sat between the perpetually sunny Katie Couric (who blushed a lot) and the onetime cover girl Cheryl Tiegs, currently featured in a "new spread in AARP magazine," the comedian Jeffrey Ross said. |
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Pity poor property mogul and reality television star Donald Trump. No cameras, he said, for his wedding last night to Slovenian model Melania Knauss in the exclusive Florida resort town of Palm Beach. No special deal with a magazine, he insisted, to cover his third wedding. This was to have been a private event, for close friends and guests. So how come so many details leaked out in advance of last night's ceremony at the Episcopal Church of Bethesda-by-the-Sea, set amid waving palm trees and immaculate landscaping? How did we know that Melania would actually have two wedding dresses, that her diamond ring was worth US$1.5m, that the 350-strong guest list included the likes of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas, Bruce Willis and Clint Eastwood? Ex-New York mayor Rudy Giuliani, singers Billy Joel and Tony Bennett, rap music impresario Russell Simmons, talk show host Star Jones and television personalities Katie Couric, Matt Lauer and Barbara Walters were among the several hundred guests. The guests spilled out of the church to wave off the newly weds as Trump and Knauss, jewels glittering, smiled from their limousine at a crowd gathered on the street. A cynic might have presumed that Mr Trump, 58, actually enjoys all this publicity. He has certainly made clear that he intends his relationship with Ms Knauss, 34, to work out, unlike his previous two marriages which ended with the same sort of publicity that this one has started with. "I know her so well," Mr Trump said of his betrothed to the Palm Beach Post newspaper. "We've been together for more than five years, and we've lived together for three years. And she's a solid person. She was a very successful model. She made her own way." After the service the couple drove off in a black stretch limousine for a reception with their guests at Mr Trump's nearby Mar-a-Lago Club resort, which was heavily guarded for the occasion by police and private security guards. Even by the usual standards of hype surrounding Trump and his brazen self-promotion - most recently displayed in the reality television show The Apprentice - the interest in the real estate mogul's wedding has been extraordinary. Every detail about every possible aspect of the wedding has been snapped up by the gossip pages of the US newspapers, considered, commented upon and then regurgitated elsewhere. It is known for instance - because Ms Knauss posed in it for Vogue magazine - that she was due to exchange vows in a strapless Christian Dior gown, made from more than 300 feet of material, which had a 13ft train and a 16ft veil. The gown is so big that Ms Knauss was expected to sit on a stool during last night's dinner because she would not be able to fit into a chair. After the couple's first dance, she was due to change into a sleeker tulle dress by Vera Wang. She was expected to wear shoes by Manolo Blahnik, with the highest possible heel. Mr Trump, meanwhile, was to wear a white tie and white cummerbund by Brioni. Guests were expected to dine on a feast prepared by the New York chef Jean-Georges Vongerichten, consisting of filet mignon with green peppercorn sauce. The wedding cake was 5ft high, covered with Grand Marnier butter cream and three thousand roses made from white icing. Subtle it may not be, but that is the point with Mr Trump, who has never shied away from the cameras. Indeed, some reports suggested he was considering selling the television rights to his wedding for US$25m until his Slovenian born bride ruled out such a move. Oddly enough, the one place where last night's wedding appeared to have caused less of a stir was Palm Beach itself, an old-money community that for decades was the winter getaway choice for America's establishment elite. It seems that not all of this set are entirely taken with Mr Trump. Agnes Ash, a retired society chronicler, told a reporter: "This is not a social wedding - it's a celebrity wedding. And news events like that don't always penetrate the rest of Palm Beach." Trump was already famous as a property and casino mogul before he moved into American living rooms in 2003 as star of hit television show "The Apprentice," in which young contestants vie to show their business savvy and win a spot working on a Trump venture. The third season of the show, whose weekly highlight is when Trump brusquely dumps one contestant, began in the US this week. Trump and his new bride had a prenuptial agreement but there was no word on what it would involve in the event one of them decides the other is "fired." Trump, whose latest book on being successful is called "Think Like a Billionaire," was married before to Ivana Trump and Marla Maples. Those marriages ended in divorce. According to media reports, Trump made several business deals to offset the cost of his wedding. The New York Times said he paid half price for a US$1.5 million engagement ring from diamond sellers Graff in return for the publicity. Chefs and florists were also eager to offer their services for a highly public social event. |
| I just can't understand why I wasn't invited |
