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Choosing A New Pope
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Posted by: forwardone
Choosing A New Pope
There were two Catholic boys, Timothy Murphy and Antonio Secola, whose lives parallel each other in amazing ways. In the same year Timothy was Born in Ireland, Antonio was born in Italy. Faithfully they attended parochial school from kindergarten through their senior year in high school.
They took their vows to enter the priesthood early in college, and upon graduation, became priests.
Their careers had come to amaze the world, but it was generally acknowledged that Antonio Secola was just a cut above Timothy Murphy In all respects. Their rise through the ranks of Bishop, Archbishop and finally Cardinal was swift to say the least, and the Catholic world knew that when the present Pope died, it would be one of the two who would become the next Pope.
In time the Pope did die, and the College of Cardinals went to work. In less time than anyone had expected, white smoke rose from the chimney and the world waited to see whom they had chosen.
The world, Catholic, Protestant and secular, was surprised to learn that Timothy Murphy had been elected Pope!
Antonio Secola was beyond surprise. He was devastated, because even with all of Timothy's gifts, Antonio knew he was the better qualified. With gall that shocked the Cardinals, Antonio Secola asked for a private session with them in which he candidly asked, "Why Timothy?"
After a long silence, an old Cardinal took pity on the bewildered priest and rose to reply. "We knew you were the better of the two, but we just could not bear the thought of the leader of the Roman Catholic Church being called Pope Secola."
Posted by: betrdanevr
Oh, no! 
Posted by: jojomataketa
ANCIENT RITUAL MYSTERY SOVED!
-----------------------------------
Every time a new Pope is elected, there are a lot of rituals in accordance with tradition. Well, there is one tradition that very few people know about.
Shortly after the new Pope is enthroned, the Chief Rabbi seeks an audience. He is shown into the Pope's presence, whereupon he presents the Pope with a silver tray bearing a velvet cushion. On top of the cushion is an ancient, shriveled parchment envelope. The Pope symbolically stretches out his arm in a gesture of rejection.
The Chief Rabbi then retires, taking the envelope with him and does not return until the next Pope is elected. John Paul II was intrigued by this ritual, that's origins were unknown to him. He instructed the best scholars of the Vatican to research it, but they came up with nothing. When the time came and the Chief Rabbi was shown into his presence, he faithfully enacted the ritual rejection but, as the Chief Rabbi turned to leave, he called him back.
"My brother," the Pope whispered, "I must confess that we Catholics are ignorant of the meaning of this ritual enacted for centuries between us and you, the representative of the Jewish people. I have to ask you, what is it all about?"
The Chief Rabbi shrugs and replies: "But we have no more idea than you do. The origin of the ceremony is lost in the traditions of ancient history." The Pope said: "Let us retire to my private chambers and enjoy a glass of wine together, then with your agreement, we shall open the envelope and discover the secret at last." The Chief Rabbi agreed.
Fortified in their resolve by the wine, they gingerly pried open the curling parchment envelope and with trembling fingers, the Chief Rabbi reached inside and extracted a folded sheet of similarly ancient paper.
As the Pope peered over his shoulder, he slowly opened it. They both gasped with shock - It was the cheque for the Last Supper.
Posted by: jojomataketa
The Pope had just finished a tour of the Napa Valley and was taking
a limousine to San Francisco. Having never driven a limo, he asks the
chauffeur if he can drive for a while. Well, the chauffeur doesn't
have much of a choice, so he climbs in the back of the limo and the
Pope takes the wheel.
The Pope proceeds down Silverado, and starts accelerating to see
what the limo can do. He gets to about 90 mph, and suddenly he sees
the red & blue lights of a CHiP in his mirror. He pulls over and the
trooper comes to his window.
The trooper, seeing who it is, says, "Just a moment please, I need
to call in."
The trooper calls in and asks for the chief. He tells the chief
that he's got a REALLY important person pulled over, and asks how
to handle it.
"Is it the Governor?"
"No! Even more important!"
"Is it the PRESIDENT???"
"No sir! Even *more* important!"
"Well WHO THE HECK is it?" screams the chief.
"I don't know sir," replies the trooper, "but he's got the Pope
as his chauffeur."