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Why men are happier . . . -- Your last name stays put. -- The garage is all yours. -- Wedding plans take care of themselves. -- Chocolate is just another snack. -- You can be President. -- You can never be pregnant. -- You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. Actually, You can wear NO shirt to a water park. -- Car mechanics tell you the truth. -- You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. -- Same work, more pay. -- Wrinkles add character. -- Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. -- The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. -- New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. -- One mood all the time. -- Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. -- A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. -- You can open all your own jars. -- You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. -- If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. -- Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. -- You almost never have strap problems in public. -- You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. -- Everything on your face stays its original color. -- The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. -- You only have to shave your face and neck. -- You can play with toys all your life. -- Your belly usually hides your big hips. -- One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. -- You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. -- You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. -- You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. No wonder men are happier... |