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"DOCTOR, DOCTOR!" jokes...Add YOURS too!!
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Posted by: jojomataketa
Doctor Doctor I swallowed a bone.
Are you choking?
No, I really did!
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Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do?
Use a pencil ?till I get there
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Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a bell?
Take these and if it doesn't help give me a ring!
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Doctor, Doctor I think I'm suffering from Deja Vu!
Didn't I see you yesterday?
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Doctor, Doctor I've got wind! Can you give me something?
Yes - here's a kite!
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Doctor, how do I stop my nose from running?!
Stick your foot out and trip it up!
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Doctor, doctor I keep thinking I'm a bee
Buzz off can't you see I'm busy?
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Doctor, Doctor everyone keeps throwing me in the garbage.
Don't talk rubbish!
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Doctor, Doctor I feel like a sheep.
That's baaaaaaaaaad!
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Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a mosquito
Go away, sucker!
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Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee
Have you tried taking the spoon out?
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Doctor, Doctor I feel like a spoon!
Well sit still and don't stir!
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Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.
I'll deal with you later.
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Doctor, Doctor Have you got something for a bad headache?
Of course. Just take this hammer and hit yourself in the head. Then you'll have a bad headache.
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Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking there is two of me
One at a time please
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Doctor, Doctor will this ointment clear up my spots?
I never make rash promises!
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Doctor Doctor I feel like a racehorse.
Take one of these every 4 laps!
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Doctor, doctor my sister here keeps thinking she's invisible!
What sister?
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Doctor, Doctor Can I have second opinion?
Of course, come back tomorrow!
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Doctor, Doctor you have to help me out!
Certainly, which way did you come in?
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Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm God
When did this start?
Well first I created the sun, then the earth...
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Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm invisible
Who said that?
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Doctor: You need new glasses
Patient: How do you know?, I haven't told you whats wrong with me yet
Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window!
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Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a snail
Don't worry we'll soon have you out of your shell!
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Doctor, Doctor I feel like an apple.
We must get to the core of this!
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Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a butterfly
Will you say what you mean and stop flitting about!
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Doctor, Doctor I'm boiling up!
Just simmer down!
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Doctor, Doctor I think I'm an adder
Great, can you help me with my accounts then please!
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Doctor, Doctor I keep painting myself gold
Don't worry it's just a gilt complex!
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Doctor, Doctor I've broke my arm in two places
Well don't go back there again then!
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Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a dog.
How long have you felt like this?
Ever since I was a puppy!
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Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a yo-yo.
Are you stringing me along!
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Doctor, Doctor I dream there are monsters under my bed, what can I do?
Saw the legs off of your bed!
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Doctor, Doctor When I press with my finger here... it hurts, and here... it hurts, and here... and here... What do you think is wrong with me?
You have a broken finger!
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Doctor Doctor I feel like biscuits!
What, you mean those square ones?
Yes!
The ones you put butter on?
Yes!
Oh, You're Crackers!
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Doctor, Doctor My little boy has just swallowed a roll of film!
Hmmmm. Let's hope nothing develops.
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Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains
Well pull yourself together then
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Doctor, Doctor I snore so loud I keep myself awake
Sleep in another room then!
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Posted by: forwardone
There`s some good `uns in that lot.
Geoff