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Thinker's Anonymous
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Posted by: betrdanevr
It started out innocently enough.
I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up.
Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon
I was more than just a "social thinker".
I began to think alone ---- "to relax," I told myself ----
but I knew it wasn't true.
Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally
I was thinking all the time.
I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and
employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I began to
avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka.
I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking,
"What is it exactly we are doing here?"
Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening
I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning
of life. She spent that night at her mother's.
I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the
boss called me in. He said, "Skippy, I like you, and it hurts
me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem.
If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find
another job."
This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after
my conversation with the boss.
"Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."
"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a
divorce!"
"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."
"It is serious," she said, lower lip a-quiver. "You think as
much as college professors, and college professors don't
make any money, so if you keep on thinking we won't have
any money!"
"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began
to cry.
I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I
stomped out the door. I headed for the library, in the mood
for some Nietzsche, with NPR on the radio. I roared into
the parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors.......they
didn't open. The library was closed.
To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out
for me that night. As I sank to the ground clawing at the
unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster
caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?"
it asked.
You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard
Thinker's Anonymous poster. Which is why I am what I am
today: a recovering thinker.
I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a
non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's." Then
we share experiences about how we avoided thinking
since the last meeting. I still have my job, and things are
a lot better at home.
Life just seemed.........easier...... somehow, as soon
as I stopped thinking.
And soon, I may be able to vote for George W. Bush.
Posted by: friendly
I can see I'll need to join a local TA in my area! 8-[
I think... :-k
Posted by: WL_TheQueen
#-o
I cant think of anything to respond with ... which means those meetin's are WoRKING!
Posted by: betrdanevr
