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Gorilla up a nut tree......
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Posted by: Punk
This geezer's got a really big nut tree in his garden, and every autumn he gets thousands of nuts, which he puts by and gives away as Thanksgiving/Xmas presents to all his friends, who are greatly appreciative of this annual windfall.
However, one year there's a problem - an enormous male gorilla has taken up residence in the nut tree, and is eating all the nuts which have been earmarked as presents. The chap thinks and thinks and thinks, but can't work out how to get the gorilla out of the nut tree, and to keep it out, so he goes to the bar to discuss the problem, and see who can come up with a good idea to help him in his predicament.
He gets chatting to one chap who says "I can solve your problem. I can rid you of this gorilla in your nut tree. I'll come round first thing in the morning".
First thing in the morning, there's a ring on the doorbell, and there's the friend from the night before, just like he said he would be, and with him he's got a net, a Jack Russell terrier, a big stick, some rope and a huge double-barreled shotgun.
"What's the net for?", asks our nut-tree man. "The gorilla's up the tree, and there's no way we can get a net over him"
"Well, i'm going to climb that nut tree, and shake it and shake it until the gorilla falls out. When it lands on the floor, i want you to cover it with the net, the Jack Russell is trained to bite it's bo**llocks and that'll teach it not to climb your nut tree again, then you've got to hit on the head with the big stick, and then when it's unconcious you can tie it up. Can you remember all that?"
"Yes - shake, Gorilla, net, dog, stick, rope. I think i've got it. But tell me, what's the gun for?
"If i fall out the tree before the gorilla, shoot the fu**ing dog"........