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SmartAss Answers
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Posted by: forwardone
TOP 5 SMART ARSE ANSWERS FOR 2004...according to Reader's Digest:
Smart Ass Answer #5:A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate
to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and
he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat....she said,
"Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."
Smart Ass Answer #4: A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys
at the grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock
boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
Smart Ass Answer #3: The cop got out of his car and the kid who was
stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for
you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as
fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the
kid on his way without a ticket.
Smart Ass Answer #2: A truck driver was driving along on the freeway.
A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he
knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the
bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The
cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands
on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No,
I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.
AND NOW........FOR .THE.. #1 SMART ARSE ANSWER OF THE YEAR
2004................A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness,
or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and
utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and
sweetly says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
Posted by: Rog
I'm sure #3 was my son! http://www.web-life.org/vb/images/icons/icon6.gif